In no is in the air Esther Derby provides loads of good advice and links for those who just can’t say no.
I particularly liked the idea that a “no” is a fail-fast mechanism. It lets both parties know where they stand, and allows them to immediately move on to something more productive. Which aligns nicely with my current push for jidoka in all things.
Based on Clarke’s recommendation I’ve just finished reading Crucial Conversations. And I have to agree – this is a terrific book. It contains three or four critical ideas that help to make those difficult, emotional conversations a lot more easy to understand – and hopefully then to master…
I must admit, though, to being somewhat irritated by the cutesy names the authors use for the various techniques – ABC, CRIB, STATE my path etc. Useful and important as they are, I won’t remember them in that form, so I’ll need to find another set of names for them.
While reading, I found myself comparing it to the equally excellent Getting to Yes by Fisher, Ury and Patton. Some of the same ground is covered in both books (getting away from emotions and back to basics), and I would certainly recommend reading both together. So now, when faced with an important discussion, should I treat it as a crucial conversation or as a negotiation? Or both?